How Minding Your Own Business Creates a Miracle. The value of minding your own business is one of the first ideas I impart to participants in my workshops.
The phrase “mind your own business” may appear serious at first, but in this instance, it serves as a polite reminder to keep your own affairs in order. How Minding Your Own Business Creates a Miracle.
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What Minding Your Own Business Means
Focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you cannot is the essence of minding your own business. It involves accepting responsibility for your own thoughts and deeds while allowing others to do the same for their own. How Minding Your Own Business Creates a Miracle.
We try to control other people, the environment, and virtually everything and everyone except for ourselves so frequently.
Ironically, we are the one thing we CAN control. Even then, the control is not flawless.
Here are a few examples of NOT minding our own business:
- Reacting to circumstances and others instead of being conscious
- Seeing others as separate from us (separation vs oneness is also a core tenet of conscious living.)
- Trying to solve other people’s problems for them
- Attempting to “fix” others
- Refusing to accept others as they are
- Not taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions
- Blaming others for your thoughts and feelings
- Believing every thought that pops into our heads
And these are just a few ways that we don’t mind our own business or try to take on someone else’s business.
How to Mind Your Own Business
The most basic way to start minding your own business is to ask yourself “Is this something I can actually control?”
- Your thoughts and actions = your business
- Other people’s thoughts and actions = their business (NOT your business)
- External circumstances (weather, external events, etc.) = NOT your business
Step 1: Stay Out of Other People’s Business
Accept others as they are.
This does not imply that you should remain silent or enable damaging actions on the part of others. It does imply that you accept individuals for who they are.
We say, “I don’t want to know you, I want you to be who I want you to be,” when we reject others for who they are.
We can understand that some people have high blood pressure, talk loudly, occasionally arrive late, prefer topics we find dull, hold beliefs we don’t hold, or act in ways we disagree with. We can accept it as the case while yet loving them.
Listen without Judging, Criticizing, or trying to “Fix” others
Nobody is damaged. When someone discusses a problem with you, remember that there is nothing you can do to solve it. It’s up to you to listen.
In my workshops, I ask participants to listen when someone speaks, and instead of judging, think “How does this apply to me? How can I learn from this?”
Human experience is after all universal. Since we are all involved, passing judgment on one another simply serves to distance us.
Instead of thinking, “This person is broken, and I can heal them,” when someone is speaking to you, listen and make an effort to comprehend.
Step 2: Minding YOUR Business
Realizing that no one can force you to do or feel anything is taking responsibility for yourself. It’s not allowing another person to rule over you. There is always an option.
Minding your own business entails fully accepting responsibility for your actions and deciding not to play the victim.
You are not required to go to work, for instance. Taxes are not required to be paid. You decide to do those actions because you desire the outcome, such as receiving a pay check, or because you don’t want to face the repercussions of doing otherwise, such as being subject to an audit. Saying “I went to work because I want to get a promotion” rather than “My supervisor forced me to come to work on Sunday” shows that you are taking responsibility.
Of course, I’m not advocating that you behave dishonestly, harshly toward others, or be egocentric. After all, we live in a culture where we form agreements with one another to keep things organized.
In the end, since you have free will, you are allowed to defy these social norms and behave anyway you like. Simply said, you are still subject to the effects of those choices.
Don’t Believe Every Thought in your Head
Because we are concentrating on what we want rather than what we don’t want when we mind our own business, we conserve a lot of energy.
I like to compare it to sorting mail.
Consider how much effort it takes to read through every piece of junk mail, every special offer, every word in the contract, and every sales brochure. A day would be needed. Instead, the majority of us simply scan the mail each day to determine what genuinely requires our attention before recycling or tossing the rest.
That is how thoughts are. We can have thoughts running through our heads all day long, but they may not always be beneficial. Knowing which thoughts are real, helpful, and significant as opposed to getting side tracked by every thought that enters our brains is a necessary component of minding our own business.
The same applies to emotions. While some emotions are transient and don’t need to be acknowledged, others can be beneficial. Keep in mind that emotions are not always reliable even though they are frequently helpful. They might not be grounded in reality or be appropriate in the given context.
Consider whether your thoughts and feelings are genuine, practical, and significant or if they are only background noise.
Keeping to yourself means paying attention to your internal processes. Being self-aware is it.
Think of the two “selves” that make up each of us—the part of us that thinks and the portion of us that can watch the thinking—as separate “selves.”
We have the ability to observe our actions, thoughts, and overall well-being. Being the self-observer entails minding your own business.
When you think of anything, you can immediately believe it or someone else can witness your thought and declare, “That’s junk mail. No need to consider that. You don’t have to hold any of your thoughts in high regard. Most ideas do not require belief.
When you have a thought, you can decide whether to automatically believe it or not. Alternatively, an observer could notice your thinking and comment, “That’s junk mail. There is no need to consider that. You don’t have to hold onto every idea you have. The majority of thoughts don’t require belief.
For instance, you might think, “This individual is walking too slowly in front of me. They shouldn’t act in that way. This could cause your observer to feel as though they are passing judgment. Ist das wirklich so? Are they moving at a pace that is appropriate or are they moving too slowly? I don’t get to decide how quickly individuals should walk. Even the foolishness of your thoughts can occur to you.
Recognize that you are thinking those ideas and accept that truth. Once you realize the notion was junk mail and that you don’t need to open it, you can go on.
Minding Your Own Business is a Practice
Most of us find it difficult to keep our mouths shut. Like anything else in conscious existence, this too requires practice.
Practice noticing when you’re not minding your own business by observing yourself, and practise focusing your attention back in your own lane. You’ll find it getting easier and more automatic as you do this more and more.
By doing this more frequently, you will increase your sense of personal responsibility for your actions, ideas, and choices as well as your capacity to see humanity in everyone.
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